i was at my aunt place just now. and surprisingly, i was the only young adult guy there. argh.

aunt no1 : EH faizal. kau bila nak tunang ni?
me : ha. no lah. malas. tak de matair ah cam mana nak tunang.
aunt no2 : dulu kata ade.
me : skarang tak de ah.
aunt no1 : aik ape jadi. haiz. bukan nak bilang cik.
me : asal nak kena bilang lak??
aunt no1 : cik ade orang nak jodoh kan.
me : dengan siapa pulak ni?
aunt no2 : eh, kau nak jodoh kan? aku pun ade orang nak jodoh kan kat faizal ni.
me : eh takpe takpe. dah malas nak ade matair ah. biar jadi bujang sampai tua.
aunt no1 : eh. kenapa ni?
aunt no2 : eh kau jgn kacau dia lagi ah. kesian dia. tengok muka dia tu. sedih je.
me : no lah. me ok nye.
aunt no1 : ape hp number kau?
my dad : 9!$#$!@
me : eh asal kasi ayah kasi?
aunt no2 : bapak kau tu nak anak perumpuan ah. cepat kasi dia!
me : *sits there quietly*

i wished nothing did happen 2 mths back.
stupid conversation my family has. argh.
why they so want me to get tunang?
is it a must?
now?
no way ah.
i prefer getting my own and do it slowly and choosing myself wisely.
i dont want to marry some girl that i dont love.
maybe my dad has been talking about it to my aunts about finding a daugther in law for him.
grr
maybe my mum too, who has been the culprit.
tgk lah yan. they miss you ah.
haha.


anyway, this is the prob of not meeting the big family often.
gossip will happen and things u might not see it coming will happen too.
haha.

the start of a beautiful FRIENDSHIP? maybe.
a beautiful friendship to compliment the beautiful memory of a beautiful girl.

love reading it?

its a wonder why some of my friends go for chinese girls. hmm.

love reading it?

here's the real deal.

me and ben was suppose to be out skating doing our own thing.
met him at 0030hrs under my blk with his ride.
got in.
and he said, lets chill instead.
i know something was wrong but i didnt ask.
i didnt want to spoil the moood.
"ok but where?", i asked.
"i dont know", he replied and vroom to yishun to pick up another friend of ours.
and vroom to town to pick another 3 friend of ours.

if you know the size of a Hyundai Getz, 5 people is already like kinda packed.
imagine 6!
vroom to changi. had er...supper? early sahur? i dont know.
saw bapoks. had nasi lemak. chilled.
done with that.
we headed down to ECP played billard.
ben was being an ass to me.
he knowing me for 5 yrs, he wanted to train me in billard.
so i suffered the most during the game.
thanz ah. haha.

played till 4.30am.
we didnt realise the time actually.
after realising, ben vroomed all of us back home in 1 hr 30mins or so.
from ecp to potong pasir to bukit panjang to marsiling to woodlands.
amazing? haha.
great friend he is.
i'm glad that i found a good friend like him.

i need a plan.
i need to sort out what to do these few days or months at least.
i think i want to clean up my room for like real.
haha.
then maybe help dad clean up the house.
coz if dad is happy, i might get my bike soon.



i remembered how i treated my ex from the old break up i had.
i only got in contact with one of them.
hm...give me time.
give us time.
we be good friends...



i hope.
friends.

love reading it?

it was kinda hectic today.

i had bike lesson in the morning today. scary one. had to this S and Crank course. i almost hit the kerb at times. argh. i passed it though.

after my lesson, i saw my friend awaiting for his next lesson. he's like 2 lesson ahead of me just because he richer than me ah. so when he saw me, he was like, eh go book afternoon lesson quick. so i did. haha.

so in one day, i did 2 lesson and passed both! haha. was so happy ah. i will sure make someone unhappy though. ahakz. sorry has. catching up with her already. vroom vroom.

25 October is the date i looking forward for. i hope i can make it


police recruitment called me. asked me soo many things. haha. but gladly i'm shortlisted. woohoo. i be in blue again soon. :) watch out people. i'm going to catch you doing bad stuff soon.

i'm glad what i want is going my way. yup2. cant wait for it to really happen. a bike, a career. ah. something i so look forward to. woohoo.




first i heard, then i saw, now i know.

love reading it?

i think i got some super muscle pull over at my forearm. not foreskin eh. foreARM. its painful. just hope its not some hairline fracture. coz i remember i fell down badly while skating. o well. pray.

license by nov? POSSIBLE!!!

love reading it?

all have been settled. no worries.
i going to say this many times, take care of fadli ok.
dont treat him like you treat me.
love him like he's really your husband already.
ok my dear fren, my ex of mine, my NS gf.
i'm going to ord soon.
it was something that you look forward to.
howells
16 more days people.
i will be gone soon.
for awhile.
i hope.
it make take weeks, months, years?
i dont know.
only time will know.
i wont be gone forever.

a new life awaits ahead of me.



my horoscope.
The Bottom Line
Conversations can reveal major things today -- talk it up with the folks around you.

In Detail
Conversations can reveal major things today, so try to talk it up with the people around you. Ask controversial questions, play devil's advocate and don't shy away from heated debate. People have some amazing ideas, and you could learn from them. Open up your mind and get ready to revise some of your long-held beliefs. Just because you change your mind doesn't mean you were wrong before. You just didn't know then what you know now. It's called life experience.

love reading it?

why does that it hurts still?
why?

go ok.
go.




pls.





just...

[edit]
for the msg you sent,
i realise i am keeping the glue.
the broken pieces just placed there on the floor.
maybe let someone else sweep it away and throw it. --> misunderstanding statement.

like what u say to me. dont assume. mind me for my bad grammer here.

i'm not throwing YOU away. i never will.
why would i want to throw you away? then whats the email for? then whats the TWO years for?

what IT refers to is the the pain that i went thru with you, the love i had for you.
i had to throw away the pain as it killing me badly. you know that? i doubt so.
and well, as for the love, its still in me. locked in my heart. the love i had before i knew abt afandi. i'm just throwing the fresh ones that i had for you ever since the breakup cause its related to the pain.

i'm telling myself get a new love too.
and let someone come into my heart also.

i dont know where to put it actually. put it aside and i might take a peek. so throw je ah. i wont see the pain anymore. just left a beautiful memory.

but i realise every single thing now from me is a big thing to you.
you want to think i'm that bad to hate you and throw your exsistance away?
go ahead.
i'm nobody to you now, right?
you dont realise how you treated me for the past 6 months.
look back and realise how well you treated me.
i just put up with you. read your past entries from blogger, lj or whatever places you updated. just read. read all the events that happen to YOUR life.


i will never hate you. what ever you do to me is for me to absorb. its just a matter of i LOVE you or i just LIKE you.

you know what. this thing will never end between us. you will never forgive me. trust will never be there for us. leave me lah. go. go to your fadli. he will treat you way way better than i do. ok?!
argh...

[/edit]

faizal, move on ok.








when is 2007 coming sak.

love reading it?

i start off with this:

Jangan dewi jangan begitu
Senyum-senyumlah selalu
Manis riang
Wajah bertambah jelita


bike lesson tomorrow. cant wait.
going back camp soon to take my stuff.

whatever feelings i have in me right now will be trapped in me forever and never to let it out. its just so unbelievable i tell you what i'm feeling right now. its crazy.

reading the past is a must at certain times. Read yours. You be amazed how wonderful you life is. Read it. You'll smile knowing who maade you smile in the past. Read. You'll realise how the present is created. Have you?

i be moving soon. being here is too emotional. so just look out for me aite?

love reading it?

my day today was a boring one. what you expect. i'm a boring guy. actually, you can predict my life everyday for sure. its always boring.

i did practically nothing yesterday. i clean the room. checked on my email, friendster and blogs. i slept like 2/3 of the day instead of the 1/3 of the day. haha. seriously, there's nothing on tv. no one to chat with. i was practially bored to death ah. in this case, bored to sleep. haha

but.....

my day got better as i skate my life away at night. haha. recalling good old times of finding a place to skate. trying out new tricks. looking out for cops. haha. it was darn funny lah. i post up pics soon.



so i heard and now, so i saw. glad someone is happy. i should be happy for her. yeah. take good care of him aite? treat him like how u treated me, or even better.
i shall not disturb you anymore.


cant wait for bike lesson. expected date to get my bike...late oct. haha.

love reading it?

let me see. i been clueless what to update these days. serious. i'm actually greatly traumatised on what happened.

ok let me talk abt fasting. day 2 already and its been ok. hungry and thirst hasnt been a problem at this age already. ha.

dad was good enough to sponser me everything for my bike. yup. bike lessons to my bike itself. yup2 i hope i can get it this oct. cant wait to get my own helmet too. i imagined how i going to customise my helmet and bike. esp my helmet with my name on it. haiz..talking abt helmets. haiz.


lately, i've known myself better. knowing me better as in the inner bad me. correct me if i'm wrong coz no one know oneself.

i'm very stubborn. if i can be place in a catergory for rocks, i'll be a diamond. a hard solid diamond. people have been trying to help me. i agreed to it, but i didnt follow it. i didnt listen. if i did, everything would be different. i wish some harder diamond will cut me up.

i'm very persistent. well, i only behave this way when i'm losing someone or in a position that i'm uncomfortable with. somehow, it turns ugly till i sacrifice trust and other stuff along with it. most of the time i do it without realsiing it. so far, when i'm kept at bay, i'll never show or do all this. never will.

i'm very emotional. i cant be in a situation where i am losing a loved one or knowing that someone is drifting away. i will go crazy. wanting to know every bit of stuff the other significant is doing.

i'm very boring. at times, i just dont know how to find excitement in life. maybe because i was the only child for 11 yrs. all that 11 yrs i been spending on my own. really. no frenz. no nothing. only neighbourhood pranks that i played with on kids ard my block.

...


interupted by that one single sentence. :(




sometimes, being away from each other seems to be an option that will open up our eyes. it just make one remind or should i say recall of that significant other how wonderful she is and how that last relationship was a wonderful journey. it will make you appreciate how the other one tolerate you when you turn bad, or how the other one cherish like you're a diamond.

and looking back at the path that 2 people take together. the journey that both of them go thru. it was wonderful and i was stupid to not take it but to abuse it. i just hope the path that we taking will meet up very soon.

hopes are the same. but will it turn into reality? the path to the beautiful road in the future. haiz....

for now, i'm need to move on. i have to after knowing she is too and wit who and even though it hurts, i have to accept the fact. for those who are seeking new love or already in love, appriciate what you have. dont go find others when you are already with the one ok?

i'm moving on, seriously but....

but i still miss her. and about love? i think i shall keep it to myself for now. for what i know, the love its kept deep deep inside me, locked.



i end here then. i missing you.







Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang telah hilang
Darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu
Untuk mengenangmu

Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau
Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati



My Horoscope:
The Bottom Line
Don't be afraid to inject your humor and wit into a business situation today.

In Detail
A burgeoning business or professional relationship is gaining solid momentum in a promising direction. Take things slowly and focus on balanced communication -- share yourself as much as you ask the other person to share themselves. This should be treated like any delicate negotiation, so be careful, but confident. Don't be afraid to inject humor into the situation. There are common interests between the two of you that, if brought to light, could sway things significantly in your direction.

love reading it?

"All Or Nothing"

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
As sharing in this relationship gets older, older

You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it

Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No more inside for me in your life

Cuz I want it all
Or Nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never

Is it all
Or Nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall

love reading it?

i cant sit here and pretend i did nothing wrong. i just cant wait for something to happen to do something

Dear all who have been affected by the recent incidents,
esp to you.

its been a hard time for us esp for me. knowing that i'm no longer your number 1 man, it just mad me go crazy. i know its a stupid reason. i should be acting more maturely at my age now.

i'm sorry to what i've done. the stupid unnessesary things i did. the trust that i betrayed. the love that i lost.

i leave all of you alone. i will change when raya comes. thats a promise, not to you all, but to me and ALLAH. i done too many sins. i know you people dont believe me my words. i prove it to you when the time comes. well, if you're still there lah..

other than that. i got nothing else to say. sorry again. i know somehow i wont be forgiven anymore. thats the end of my life.

regards
-faizal

love reading it?

its possible with the sponser i'm getting that i'll get my license by late oct/ early nov. yey. wish me luck on the lesson yar? cant wait to get my own bike.

love reading it?

haiz.
for the virgo-ian girl.

The Bottom Line
Today you will see that there are many different paths to the same destination.

In Detail
Your creativity is at all-time high right now, and you're going to have a lot of fun infusing every part of your day with your unique spin on things. And if a problem pops up or an obstacle gets in your path, you can use your wit and innovative thinking to work your way around it. You're wise enough to understand that there are many different paths to the same destination -- have the courage to take the path that no one else has the guts to explore

love reading it?

i never felt so in love before. but too bad the person i love isnt there anymore.

love reading it?

and so i heard.

love reading it?

yah i know i wished the birthday girl already. but this time is for my best friend. hehe. ben! he's 24 now. ah. great great. haha. so big boy already. haha. i dont know he reads my blog or not. dont worry ah boy abt yana. chill. we chill together aite?


Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang telah hilang
Darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu
Untuk mengenangmu

Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau
Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati


besok dah puasa ah!!! must be good this time. hmm.

love reading it?

REMEMBER THE 5 WORDS OK FAIZAL. ok? but inside you you know what you want right? argh.

love reading it?

her heart has spoken to me. now just let time do the magic. the right magic that is.

"Jangan lah kamu jadi temanita Khidmat Negara ku,
Jangan lah kamu jadi kenangan indah ku.

Hanya Tuhan dan masa tahu apa yg akan di takbir kan,
hati ku tetap kepada mu."

love reading it?

so what now? huh? what?

i not leaving u for sure. i just want to give you the space that you need now. serious. sorry for everything. and like what you said. just wait for fate to bring us back together again.

thanz for the song in ur blog. i understand your needs. i know there is no good to love when you kept hurting by me. haiz. but why i keep doing it? i also dont know. maybe, i just need a good smack in the face maybe to learn my lesson? i think i got one good one from u. and i seriously wake up from that matter.


i believe that the love with mistakes in it, may it be big or small, are lessons to be learnt. may it be once or many times, if love is strong and you willing to give me a chance, at least now, i really learn from the mistakes and it would make our relationship better .its up to u dear. i seriously dont want leave ur love life ever.

love reading it?

i guess even though i have a timid and quiet chinese zodiac, the RAT. i think i also have the chinese zodiac CAT in me too.

western people say CURIOUSITY KILLS THE CAT. well, i think it did. ouch.

love reading it?

FUCK AH!

love reading it?

one moment i said this. the other i said. i hate myself.

80% of myself said be with her, 20% say go away.

60% of the good me is inside me, the other 40% kills me and her sometimes.

someone told me to make a plan. and everytime i did, i change it. stupid fuck ah. i guess taking a bike is a good thing ah. so that one day i can just ram myself into anther car.

now, izyan, i want to be with you. sorry for what i did. and give me a final chance, a chance that i wont take it easily anymore. i blew it too many times, and recently i told myself that i need to change FOR REAL.i know i said that many many times but i just some to smack me for what i did k. will you do the honors? i mean physically.

trust level zero. so i earn it ok? i want to be with u pls.






but if you think its not worth it, then you just tell me ok.

love reading it?

ok. no more hiatus. back online liao.

the day today was great even though i was pissed with myself the day before. if only i can be caned for what i did. anyway, i had a great day lah like what i said. i passed my bike lesson, after failing it the first time round. on paper, the lesson is about right turn and lane change. how hard that can be! haha. thats what i thought till i attended the lesson the first time round. you can practically turn ur head to the left and right many many times in that 1 1/2hrs. haha. well, what to do, no license yet. do what as told. check blind spots!!! haha

went home had a good rest before my simulation test over at HQ SCDF. SIMULATION ah, not STIMULATION ah. haha. i emphasize that coz when i ask around for the location:

me: Excuse me, can i know where's the manpower department?
provost: Ah? manpower department? for?
me: o...for simulation test and interview ah
provost: o...STIMULATION test ah? go up that building. 4th floor.
me: its SIMULATION test.
provost: yah lah. STIMULATION test.
me: *walks away* thanks.


haha. funny lah. the thing went well i guess. i felt kinda uncomfortable though that the thing went smoothly. i do want police but i dont mind civil defence. i dont know. which ever comes first. just take and go.

i didnt expect anyone to call though since i'm alone. skali, ben call lah. haha. he forced me to go the skate shop and get my buckle so that i can skate again with him. hehe. he paid for everything ah. so sweet of him right.

then went to pick up 2 more guys, head to town to meet another 1 and we chilled. haha. talked shit lah even though i hardly know them. haha. great

skated with ben skate for awhile. its been ages that i skate ah. haha. so kekok. o well, i'm going to start skating.....wee...


day2: its been sucky that i dont know where i stand now. leaving is an option now coz i blew it so hard that i dont think it can come back together. she gave up on me. i gave up on myself. ):

love reading it?

i just dont know whats wrong with me. am i tooo 'gile' kan with her that i go do drastic measures that i shouldnt be going into just to find out whats she doing?

why am i like this? i cant even answer myself let alone answer to people. i seriously need to change. for real. leave her alone faizal. let her be. she's independent and i dont need to go snooping around her. if i could kill myself without dying i would. argh.

now, i think its the end of me and izyan. i dont think there would be us anymore. i blew the whole thing. it just had to be me lah to do it. and whats more after her birthday lagi. haiz.

so how faizal? how? what you going to do now? i think i should be moving on and let her be already. if she wants me back, which is so unlikely, i will ask her to really consider and let me change first before anything.

i really need to change. i really do. someone please help me. please :(

love reading it?

its been 2 days that i really get to well, you know get to noe her better. she's out there having fun at her chalet while i am having my own fun at home and with my other frenz.

i just hope these few days wont make us drift apart again. i'm afraid that it will. i cant be psychotic abt her. it will drive me crazy man. i guess i got to chill down too.

i love the song that she sent me the other day. Ape Artinya Cinta? here's the chorus.
Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yang pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta

Arti cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku
Siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
Sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta

yup. its nice. i making it to her ringtone..




hehe. ok lah. i want to take a nap before i meet up with my cuz later. she's treating me waffles and icecream! woohoo! cant wait cant wait. hehe.

love reading it?

i been updating secretly behind this.


there will be a change in my life soon. yea. fasting is starting and i think i want to make that big change during this month.

fail my bike lesson. its so complicated to learn within that short hour. i mean wah lao. give us some credit ah at least we tried to check the blind spot.

o well, learn from mistakes. i think i will use my bicycle to learn all these blindspot things. ahha. i will. it may sound stupid but i will. just a mere how to do right turn and change lane. urgh. how difficult that can be!!!

anyway, the girl is that the chalet now. i wonder how fun that will be. she must be having the time of her life there. i wish i could be there to spend time with her.

well, i keep saying i wanted the space. but i keep contacting her. ahah. shit lah me. can nv stay true to my own words. try try. i need to chill abit with her.

i love you ok yan

love reading it?

is it me? is it i? or what?
maybe the fact i'm lost and perfectly dead in my own world.

happy birthday izyan. you're 20.

love reading it?

its already night.
went out with my ex recruits. haha. had fun.

met ben. exchange cards. miss him.


3 more hrs.

love reading it?

see lah. so engross on motivating my recruits that i forgot to put up an entry abt the week. haha.



chemical defence!!!!!



the boy and the girl.


and i took this pic before they pop. haha. that will be my last time wearing that uniform! haha. serious man

ok ends.

love reading it?

it was a good start to my day today. i passed my Riding Theory Test today which mean i dont have to bother about my theory lessons anymore. woohoo. practical all the way from now on.

and talking abt practical, i had my first almost-fall accident just now. haha. i had to do a left turn and i was kinda nervous on the turning. first, it was first time doing serious turning with those checking the blind spot thing, make sure dont open throttle so much, etc. second is the fact that the area is wet. i think i have a childhood trauma where i always fall when i go over a wet patch of ground with my bicycle. so all this came into play, i try to concentrate as much as i could and ignore the fear i had, but it was just not working till i open the throttle too much and lost balance and almost tipped. haha. i saved myself. only a slight scratch on my back of my leg, other than that, a good experience.

i think accidents makes oneself more confident in the lesson that he is going thru which is so thru for me. girl told me that i'm the one can be SOOO kanchiong spyder with 6 fingers + 2 legs but once i can get a hold on it, i be a human again and do it well. i agree with her. she's knowing me well. hehe.

yah. basically i learn alot today. yup2. i going to zoom pass all the lessons. o yah, another thing is that everytime i go thru a lesson and i didnt do a certain skill well, i will just have this mindset that i will fail and have to reattend the same lesson, but i always pass. haha. funny lah. maybe i like to scare myself that i will fail if i dont do it properly. haha. it works though.

time check. less than 14 hrs to go. girl confirm cant wait.
"girl, less than 14 hrs before u have a 2 infront of ur age. haha. welcome to the twenties clan!"


i shall have a good rest today before a fun-filled day tml. i hope nothing cock up. no rain no rain. pls no rain.






to my ex-recruits of dragon company platoon 4, (i think only u read it, budi)

a little word of advice, bmt phase its over. all the fun that you have in the army is done. no more playing alright.you guys enjoy the sunday that is left to u all to spend before serious army shit comes into your life.

whether you are in leadership school or some driving unit or becoming infantry man or what ever vocation you're holding, responsibility will be put on your shoulder irregardless rank or vocation. be serious about the things you do. dont bull shit around, know the system, know your work.

sacrifice abit of your laziness/time for this 2 yrs. think about it, do it once do it well. you wouldnt want to get charge or go into detention right? think about your service letter at the end of the NS life.

but one thing, dont give too much commitment to NS. like what i said, when it comes to work you work. when its time to play, you better play. Its just NS.

for those in sispec,
i can tell you working with the warrants there wont be easy for you. i been thru that shit and i'm telling you something that keep me 'alive'. learn what is thought from them, absorb by revising, apply what you have learn, and take all the fucking and other stuff that comes out of thier mouth and take it as a learning lesson. they are bound to do that. if you do a mistake, admit it and learn from it. top priorty, have fun! remember your motto: WITH PRIDE WE LEAD!

you can crossover OCS midway BSLC and end of ASLC. work super duper hard if you want to crossover. be tired during this time, and you be well respected in OCS if you crossover.

for those in OCS,
i got nothing much to say though but this is the best place to learn everything about the army culture and army teachings. have the right attitude everytime and by the end of the 9 months, make people respect and salute you. not your rank. RANK IS JUST A THING TO TELL PEOPLE WHO WE ARE. RESPECT IS A THING TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT WE ARE.
remember your motto: TO LEAD, TO EXCEL, TO OVERCOME.


to the rest of the vocation,
you guys have fun. haha. serious. i look at your vocations and it seems fun. but those becoming infantry/guards man, train hard. the batch of recruits before you lost alot of weight and look super good after 6 mths training. remember this and motivate yourself when you are down. to the guards man, earn the Guards tab. you feel damn proud. to the infantry man, earn your beret aite?



why i'm doing this is that i didnt interact much with your guys as much like the previous batches i did where i told them what to expect and stuff. Sorry about this but i hope its not too late. I'm on Civilian Conversion Course remember? haha.
i cant be there for you guys anymore, you guys are now teenagers in the army, you need to push yourself at times aite?

good luck and take care. See ya around. Dont forget to call me SIR after 151006 ok?

regards
2SG Muhd Faizal


ok. i going to pray now and sleep soon. haha. tata. a horoscope update for those cancer guys and girls.


The Bottom Line
You may feel inspired to do something that raises a few eyebrows today -- be daring.

In Detail
You may feel inspired to do something that raises a few eyebrows today ... this is a sign that you're ready to embrace your inner maverick. Breaking the rules is not always a bad thing -- especially if the rules limit your creativity or upward mobility. Inspiration may come in the form of a new person arriving on the scene or an old adversary leaving the scene. Personnel shakeups -- in both your business and personal life -- have a way of making you rethink your role.

love reading it?

The Bottom Line
A change of lifestyle has put someone in a new light -- tell them you approve.

In Detail
The innovative ideas around you are exciting, but they might also be making you uncomfortable. If you feel uneasy about getting involved, be up front about your concerns. It's possible that your fears are unwarranted, but you need to air them regardless. You can see that a new beginning is possible today -- probably in an old relationship. A change of lifestyle has put someone in a new light in your eyes. If you like what you see, share your encouragement. They'll love to hear it

love reading it?

its been a nice week today, even though i was down in the middle part of the week. but alls well ends well.

yeah. it is nice.



i'm having bike lesson tomorrow. wish me luck aite?
o. for those who went guards and infantry units, good luck! muhaha.

love reading it?

really. i got nothing here.

bike lesson was fun but slowly getting into serious shit.
money running out fast.
wonder what to do next week.
what to do on thursday.

gosh. blank. end.

love reading it?

today i had practical lesson again. no girls in the class this time but it was fun. i went 40km/h on the circuit road today. haha. so fast. so fun. and it isnt as complicated handling the controls, from braking to changing gear to moving faster.

u noe those arcade games where u had to turn the bike's throttle alot to move? yah. u better not do that on a real bike. u go flying way high ah. haha.

i planning to get my pdl in like 2 weeks time. then i can start driving on the roads already. yey.



anyway, its book in day for me today. camp people have become a bitch ah. cant they just leave the ord specialist alone and have thier fun outside camp? i mean like, you ask me to book in camp just to collect a chemical defence suit? gosh. pls spare me. you can actually get someone to collect on our behalf what. haiyo.

i dont care. i just going to tell them i cant change the practical date. so someone still have to collect on my behalf.

hmm. meeting the girl soon. tata

love reading it?

The Bottom Line
If you can put your big ideas in a nutshell today, you can get the support you need.

In Detail
If you can put your biggest ideas in a nutshell, you can get all the support -- and perhaps even the financial backing -- you've been seeking. Being concise is important, because it helps you get to the heart of the matter without wasting anyone's time (including your own). Instead of going on and on about what you hope to get out of something, just ask for what you want. You don't have to oversell yourself. If you deserve something, you'll get it.

yup. its true again. haiz.

watch movie with girl. cerita the devil wears prada. somehow its a nice movie to relate to.. hmm. ok. i got to go already.

wish me luck on my lesson tml.

love reading it?

The Bottom Line
You can handle everything today -- face the music and you'll get into the groove.

In Detail
Just because you refuse to admit anything is wrong doesn't mean everything in your life is hunky-dory. So try to lift your head out of the sand. You're refusing to see some harsh realities, and that's keeping you from seeing some wonderful truths, too. You can handle everything that's going on around you today fairly easily, so don't try to avoid an awkward encounter -- doing so is a waste of your time. Face the music and dance -- you'll end up getting into the groove.


its like so true ah. taking the bike just now was like sooo awkward and nervous for me but i have to face 'the music' since i want it bad. and yah...i got into the groove of stuff. haha. i was like riding the bike so fast just now. haha. so happy. like wat a fren told me, its going to be fun, for now. haha.
vroom vroom. another lesson tml morning. argh. i so cant wait to get my own bike and license.

see you later bun.

love reading it?

today marks the day like National Day. To celebrate and look back at the history that made us this far.

Happy 22nd month girl.

the many ups have brought me good memories with you. the smiles, the laughters, the fun that we had. the many ups too came along with many downs. downs that break yours and my heart. hmm..

its seriously a roller coaster ride. scary but knowing at the end of the day we will be ok. i'm growing to accept the real you. like how i met you the first time. the lifestyle the everything that comes along with you. i am growing to accept you to be with you.

we will be together at the end of the day right ?

again happy 22 bun.

love reading it?

i had simple all boys outing today. haha. not to sound gay or something but its just one of those rare moments i had. haha.

ben have his own car already. argh. so fun. i wish i can have my own bike soon. remember eh it WILL have neon lights underneath the seats. haha.

it was amazing how many people i met today. i think ard 20. from ex sec sch mates, ex poly, campmates, ex trainess, my battalion 2ic, my cuz. everybody lah. i was like happy ah to see one of them. haha. i do have many frenz but i'm not close with them. haiz.
anyway took pic with ben haha. kekek ah. i was taking myself pic when he saw what i did. he was like "kau kenapa tak amik gamber dgn aku!" haha. so here it is




i guess its great having to know its great. yea.

love reading it?

i did had a nice sleep last night.



the conversation with the girl was i can, say an eye opener to me. she opened up to me. well, not all, just partial part of her. the other part i have to see and discover for myself for sure in time to come. i know she's someone i dont know well even though by timeline, i know her for 2 yrs already.

i chose to stay cause she still loves me and wants me to stay and i feel the same way too. but what i can forsee, it would be a really new and different relationship with her. i will be prepared.

i do have my thoughts that i need to sort out first. i need to drill some stuff that she told me yesterday. i got to know them hard.

and i havent change abit. you too i guess, need to know about me well.

love reading it?

my horoscope.


The Bottom Line
Utilize the side of yourself that values compromise today -- try to be more open.

In Detail
There are two sides of your inner self battling for territory today ... and you'll need to separate them as early as possible if you want a smooth, harmonious day. Ironically, your aggressive and competitive side could be holding you back right now, with its impatience and urge to dominate. Balance these urges with the side of yourself that values compromise, and try to be more open to giving up some control. It's time to do what it takes to move forward.

love reading it?

hmm. unexpected things had to come. brother suddenly wants to go out and watch a movie. i felt my heart sank as i just made payments for my bills. knowing my brother has the capablities to make my wallet go dry up really quick, i just told him i had 20 bucks. luckily he took that lil trick. he was asking for this and that for snack during the movies and i just showed him whats left of my money. and wit that, he bought a drink and a popcorn. all to himself. yup. i didnt had my share. what a brother.

i bought tix via internet booking. i was in the rush but lucky, the girl that was attending to me was fast. she even open a new counter for the snacks for me coz my brother couldnt wait. haha. thanz eh. haha. like she read my blog like that. i only know her name. haha

i went to watch barnyard. ok. that sound so cocky. my brother wanted to watch barnyard and i had to watch along with it. its kinda stupid lah if you ask me, but to a kid, its really one heck of a show ah. seriously, in the cinema i was in, kids was like laughing and giggling while i was like how dumb i can get after watching this. ha. enough abt that

i wanted to buy this running shoe that i keep on eyeing for a long long time. noticing how nice it looked, how comfortable when i wore it and how impressive the technology is makes me want that shoe. but i really have to consider it well...
[edit]

click here for the shoe model.
[/edit]


great. the convience of internet really is great but i guess i need to read up more before using convience stuff. BBDC offered this service of paying your lessons via internet. So yah, i took the initiative and paid. but i realise my BBDC account showed me the same amount of money i had in it. i thought i made a mistake till i read this in the website.

How long will it take for the fund to be top up into my BBDC account if I am using Internet Fund Transfer?
The fund will be credited into your account after 3 working days if the transaction is successful.

sad. at least the money will be used.....later. i still need to go down BBDC tml so that i can book my lesson on monday. Vroom vroom. got my own helmet already. haha. actually its my dad one ah. haha.


going bbdc tml, skate shop and going to see a fren of ben getting engage. yup. i hope there's someone else to make plans with me too. haiz. missing someone ah.

"open up to me. be yourself. dont show me the 2 sides. its confusing "

love reading it?

The Bottom Line
Remain your calm, unflappable self today -- and never let them see you sweat!

In Detail
If you're going to be in the public eye today, be prepared to put on your best game face. Things that are beyond your control could affect the situation and cause some unexpected changes. Remain your calm, unflappable self and never let them see you sweat! You'll impress some impressive people. If you're not planning on making any public appearances, you could enjoy a calm day with little (if any) conflict. You're entering a mature, reflective phase.




well, thats the verdict. i couldnt sleep. coz i'm in the wrong. i did the wrong w/o realising it. and yah, i just go to remain calm, pick up myself from it and go.

love reading it?

pls trust me to trust you. it was just a question.

love reading it?

cancer's horoscope for today.



The Bottom Line
Taking an impersonal point of view is the right approach -- especially today.

In Detail
Taking an impersonal point of view is the right approach -- especially this afternoon, when the folks around you will be playing some major emotional games. If you're in a professional situation when this happens, distance yourself as quickly as possible, and let the powers that be know you have nothing to do with the soap opera. If you're in a personal situation, skip the sweet talk and face up to being honest with the people stirring up the pot

love reading it?

ah. after a week out of camp, i had to come back to do the 24km march with the recruits. they needed the manpower over there, so i came to thier rescue and help them out.

it was funny when OC saw me and smiled and walked away. not knowing whats up in his mind. i came to find out that he wanted me to do something. something that i didnt expect to do at this time, my ord period.

oc: eh faizal, u free right?
me: *looks around at the sgt who are also free* no ah sir. i need to check what time my appointment is.
oc: dont bluff. help me photostat this. 20 copies ah. *walks away*
me: but sir...

i went to do so and did as what was requested.

me: sir, this is the 20 copies that you wanted.
oc: wah, you did on your own ah?
me: no lah sir. use photocopying machine.
oc: no lah stupid. u didnt get clerk help ah?
me: no lah sir. you ask me what sir. then die die have to do ah.
oc: wah. i thought you ord mood wont do stuff for OC one.
me: well, sir. its true that i'm in the ord mood but when my OC ask me to do stuff. i will do one.
oc: wah. good soldier ah good. i like u.
me: i oso like you ah sir!
oc: smiles

why was i being so good? haha. coz i wanna clear my leave peacefully w/o him disturbing me. kwang kwang kwang! haha. shit man. the amount of energy i have to produce to carry someone's ball. haha. balls to him lah

anyway, as i said. i had 24 km march with my recruits and whats a march without camwhoring. haha. i only had a few coz the rest of the time i was moaning and complaining about the pain on my back and knee...


he's attached and i'm not. haha. so yah. i'm attached to him though. kwang kwang


ah. style right this pic. MR ZAKARIA. you talk abt where my 2SG rank right? take a good look.




be mindful of yourself

watch your thoughts, they become your words.
watch your words, they become your actions.
watch your actions, they become your habits.
watch your habits, they become your character.
watch your character, they become your destiny.




shit. i lost the mood to update. tata people

love reading it?

i had a hard time doing a website just now. its just sucky to know that it gave alot of problems. on my side that is. i had to rush for time coz i'm booking in later and the internet on my side seems to be slower than ever. but hey, i still manage to finish it. hope she likes it.

anyways, as you know, i'm booking in very soon. yes. finally after a long time at home. its kinda boring at home too. the rate that the money comes out of the bank and wallet goes up much faster. ha. not a surprise though. kwang kwang.

i need to work. Fila is being a bitch. i tried to call them many many times but they seem soo busy with i dunno what. haha. then then, when they finally pick up and i ask who should i look for for recruitment as sales assistance, they tell me to call me tomorrow because the person i looking for is not in. i was like. er. ok.

haha. now i have another reason to hate fila. but i want that job. I WILL FIGHT FOR IT!

i mean like cool right if can work at fila. haha.

okok i stop that.



i be back in camp till friday sak. soo long. haha. so yah, you people wont be seeing me online that often anymore for 3 days. haha.



"Save Me From Myself" by Christina Aguilera.

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waitin
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm cryin
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smilin
You always save me from myself
from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

this song seem so real to me. just got to really got to think about stuff.


and another song i found. kinda nice but stupid oso lah. i realise that the lyrics keep repeating themselves. for u too bunny


"No Promises" by SHAYNE WARD

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.


love is great. esp with you. pull the kite faster ah! :)

love reading it?

morning guys.
it looks like i'm blogging quite often right now these few days. i guess there's alot of things on my mind now.

sleep last night was bad. i keep waking up. waking up from nightmares. i have this believe that i must go wash my feets first before heading to bed. its like washing off any 'bad' things that i might step when i go out. but i didnt do it yesterday. after all the conversation i had last night, i just threw myself onto bed and slept.

:(

was scary. it was just so scary. it was just a pain.

[insert]
The Bottom Line
Let the people you're dealing with right now know that you mean what you say.

In Detail
You can express yourself today in any manner that you wish, but be sure to let the people you're dealing with know that you mean what you say. It's a good strategy to work on things from several angles, so after you send that email, follow up with a phone call or face-to-face chat. It might take more than one conversation to get things to sink in (that goes for your brain as well as theirs). Don't worry about being too redundant. Clarity is what matters.

[/insert]

love reading it?

its funny that my prawn like to make small hills in that small tank of his. i keep telling him make one big one instead alot of small hills. he will just look at me and turn ard. stupid prawn. waste energy right! when u are big enough i make u into chilli crab!

today i did my Riding Theory Evaluation Test for the third time and finally i passed. the first 2 test i failed by a mere 1%. today i passed by a mere 1% too. phew. i couldnt describe to you the feeling i had when i click on the 'End Test' button and takes super long to load the results page. i was like, "Confirm fail liao!" but it turn out to be a pass. hahaha. now i got to do another test Riding Theory Test. this one is conducted by Traffic Police. i betta do it once and do it well. $6 dollar per test! Shit right. so expensive. i guess is a way to remind Qualified drivers that earning a license is not cheap. dont loose it easily by drink driving or reckless driving. haha. ever since i took up riding lessons, i been so road safety awared.

hopefully that i will start my practical lesson soon and learn fast. i want to get a bike by this december or latest january next year. i want to go zooming around singapore! zoom. zoom. haha. and esp go seletar reservoir there. romantic place to be. haha.

o yah. lesson learn from today outing with my cuz. if you need to get important documents done from government done or from important people, call them first before heading out of the house. ask them if they will be in for ya. find out the opening and closing hours. haha. and dont just rush into any lift. i can be quite scary. haha. esp the ones in the old shopping center like people park center. so lesson learn people.

i had a call from camp at 3pm today. i thought it would be some serious shit going on in camp ah. i picked the call up and it was my clerk.


Clerk: Sgt Faizal, OC say got ORD function.
Me: when?
clerk: later at 6
me: *looks at my watch, it was at 3 pm* just send my regards to him
clerk: *quiet* ok
me: bye


it got to be my stupid OC you know. a function will always be planned ahead and he got the cheek to tell me at the very last min. o well. i'm still going to ord soon. i dont care.

shocking news, steve irwin has passed away. who is steve irwin?? Click here to find out who. you be darn surprise ok.

*a minute of silence*


need to work out man. *looks at tummy* i will be going for a good run tml i guess. need to work out!
*flex muscles*

you are the main highlight of my life. the stuff i want to do is the things i want to do. you are not hindering it in anyway. money does. thats it.

_ends_

love reading it?

Today's horoscope (Cancer):

The Bottom Line
Letting the world spin around you today will make you feel more in control.

In Detail
Believe it or not, the power you want so badly right now will come to you if you stop wanting it so much. It might sound counterintuitive, but it's true. Feel confident in what you're doing and ride out the situation. Keep taking it in the direction it's going. Sometimes just letting the world spin around you is what you need to do to feel more in control of your own life than ever before. Step out of the rat race and give yourself the gift of being a spectator.



i just dont feel myself today yesterday and last week and last month, the past months. yup. it seems that i'm a fool doing something that i aint suppose to do. wait, its not saying AINT, shouldnt suppose to do.

regret is one thing no one wants to know and go thru but we do have to go thru it to make life more well, putting it in good terms, more exciting ah ok.

i just need to do one more thing that would me happy again. :) people who are close to me NOW will know what i want to do. *winks* its going to be fun. i be happy soon. i will be. for now. i just live.



i saw ben profile over friendster and his skating video on Youtube on his Friendster profile is like sick man. now now, if you all dont know i do inline skate. those aggressive skating grinding over railings and crubs. i want to do that again.








super sick videos.

running away from cops, just sitting down with dont know who and just relek and enjoy life away. i did that at an age of 17-19 and gosh, i do remember the times i had fun.

i wonder if i should get a new skates? my old skates have a broken buckle and i cant skate it. i hate it anyway. haha. too big for me lah. i should get a new one. HMM....wonder what skates i should get. any recommendations?

i realise after talking to my cuz suzc i have to accomplish so many things. from renewing my first aider cert soon, to getting my power boat license, to getting married to the right girl, to getting my kayaking skill upgrade, to getting a job by october, to be a happy man, and alot more.

life is not only abt one thing. there is many of it. you wont feel mess up if you take it one by one and not all in one go. i had a good chat with cuz suzc and it seems that i been keeping alot of stuff to myself. and after that, i felt much more better, better as in knowing that telling someone made me more not mess up inside.

-ends-

love reading it?

today's horoscope:

The Bottom Line
Go with the flow, and enjoy the freedom of not having to be the one in charge.

In Detail
It's time for you to let someone else make some of the decisions in your life. This does not mean you should relinquish control; it just means you won't give up your independence if you give up some control everyone once in a while. If you want, you can start off slowly -- ask someone to order your meal for you, or have them surprise you with a DVD rental choice. Go with the flow, and enjoy the freedom of not having to be the one behind the wheel

love reading it?

today is the 2nd day of the new month. but i am going to talk abt the first day of the new month.

i just finish my last Duty Orderly Sergeant. haha. so happy. finish 2 duties within a week. woohoo!

pics i took. haha. darn bored lah


my last DOS. must do camwhoring


yey


a message to all the DOS after me. (if you cant see, i wrote: ORD LO!! Have fun doing DOS!)


i did my Riding Theory Evaluation yesterday and i failed again by 1 bloody % sia. how could they let me fail by 1%! grr
soo irritating ok.

anyway met lulu after that. had dinner, desserts. lepak. :) o well. pics for u all to view.



today, i'm going to work hard at home. haha. be a good boy today. coz i wanna go out tonight. :)


so work work work. haha. tata!

love reading it?