an entry dated: 18 march 2006

"..ure the bestest bestest guy a girl could ever ever ask for. and about whatever that happened last friday night, or after, rest assured it'll never ever happen again ok? and that you know i will always tell you the truth. so stop dreaming stupid dreams in your sleep okie? ok. muax. dah eh. hee..."

another entry dated: 11 April 2006


"...today's post will be about my bf.

actually i dont have much to say except that recently, i feel more love from him. hahaha. faizal is the kind of guy who rarely voice out his anger or irritation. he's always very sensible and understanding and quite unhumanly perfect if you ask me. hahaha. dont take it in a wrong way k b. he has never been mad at me or scolded me or anything. he's only been disapponted in me many many times. ok. so that makes him quite human la if you ask me.

then like recently, my darling actually stood up for me. cause he was irritated!!! with the YOU#1 in referral to my previous entry. hahaha. i actually didnt expec him to be so agresive. like i said before, he's quite unhumanly perfect. but i guess when he make a move, then i suggest you run away. :P whatever it is, i feel so loved by my bf. i feel so protected by my soldier in green uniform.

and with that darling, i love you too even if you irritate the hell out of me sometime, when you're trying to irritate me. (eg. kupukupu dalam perot.)

happy 17th month to us handsome.


dated: 18 May 2006

"..heard rihanna's unfaithful on perfect10 just now. and since then, it has been looping on my itunes. haiz. i dunno why, but the chorus really got to me. its not that ive been unfeithful. but i think, this few months, i havent been treating the boyfriend the way he was supposed to be treated. me and my mood swings. me and my crankiness. i realise that im always snapping at him and then just giving him the silent treatment. i dunno why. he have never ever ever scolded me and this is what i do to him.

i realise that smt about me still stays the same after all this years. i thought i have learnt to open up more, but i realise the opening up part will only happen when im happy or when im really angry. i realise that when im upset, i dont want ppl to know whats wrong. and i dont like people worrying about me. and i think that fact is driving faizal insane because everytime i get upset, i'll just keep quiet and keep to myself.

im sorry k darling. but, after today, i'll try to open up more to you k. ): .."




dated: 25 May 2006

"..i have seen relationships come and go. be it mine or my friend's. and from all those, ive learnt that the last thing a person should do is to lie to their significant other. that is a major mistake.

baby. you know me well enough. you know that if i lied, or did something wrong, i will readily admit it to you after i feel so so guilty. and darling, im sorry. i didnt know what came over me. i know you hate him. i know you dont feel comfy with him being around me. and i really dunno what overcame me when i agreed to meet him tomorrow.

i guess, when you told me you have bad feelings, it kinda rub off on me. after i lied to you, my heart just took a huge turn and like crash. i started having bad feelings in the pit of my stomach that i just picked up my phone to cancel on him.

im really sorry. please please dont be mad.




you know what makes a soulmate? when the person you are with makes you want to be a better person each day. ive found that person. but damn it if im stupid enough to make supid mistakes to kill us. i should really wake up man. ):

i love you darling.


[edit] im sorry for calling you so late. im sorry for disturbing your sleep. and im sorry for just crying and not saying anything. im just so sorry. thank you for being you.





"...hey baby,
when we are together,
doing things that we love.
every time youre near
i feel like im in heaven, feeling high
i dont want to let go.
i just need you to know.

i dont wanna run away,
baby youre the one i need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now i need to hold you tight,
i just wanna die in your arms..."


[/edit]..">


was reading thru her past entries. ok i'm too sad to carry on. *sobs*










we need to be strong baby. be stronger than ever.

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