well, i been not sleeping well last night and i've been crying over what is happening now. yup. i'm as emotional as singapore idol's jay.

i think after the Platoon Sergeant course, everything has changed though. really. during that course i burn alot of weekends and spent very little time with her and it seem has been brought over all the way to now.

the name this week is a totally stressed out week. VERY VERY stressed.the work load seem to increase alot more and every mother fucker in camp just want me to do everything. yah, what fuck you people want? i'm just a bloody NSF fucker. why the fuck you want me to work so hard for? give me a regular pay then OF COURSE, i will work hard.

anyway baby, i just wanna know why you snapped at me. even the sorries, the timtams and green tea that you gave and i accepted it, i still wonder why you snapped? its really bothering me.

i dunno you realised but it seems that you're more concerned abt your friends than me. you seem to want to spend more time with them than me coz i dunno, maybe they are more fun. yes, i've read your entry abt us drifting and its true. i also feel the same. i dunno is it me or you or us. but we are drifting. you changed. really. in the way you treated me. its like you holding back something. i dunno. we do have our fun times bu really are we faking it? i think i do sometimes

for me, i always hear your stories abt you and friends. i can tell that you know having the time of your life while i'm in camp suffering alot more than i used to.
i dunno. i tried to tell you what is happening in my life but it seems mcm its all the same for 20 mths coz its NS mah. same stories.

i'm hard at work, stressed. thats why i forgot abt our monthsary and conversations at night have become lesser. you know i'm holding a different appointment now. the one with more responsiblity.

what ever it is, we shall have a good chat. i want to know whats in ur mind. what you want and some stuff like that. yah. for the past meets i wanted to talk abt this, but i just dont want to spoil the meet but i think its time baby that we talk k?

we just need to settle things out may it be going to produce a good or bad outcome. the entry might be very very messy but i hope you get the idea. :`(


-a sad sad soldier lying weak on the ground with his hand smudged with blood thats coming out from his chest-
endz

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